Rachel’s Church Jokes
by Rachel Pontbriand

How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
Answer: none.  It was Noah who took the animals on the ark

A child came home from Sunday school and told his mom that he had learned a new song about a cross eyed bear named Gladly. Later his mom found out that the hymn was called, “Gladly, the cross I’d bear.”

I am in church, but not in people. I am in minister, but not in steeple.  What am I?
Answer: the letter R

A Sunday School teacher asked her students why Mary and Joseph took baby Jesus to Jerusalem with them.  A small child replied, “Cuz they couldn’t get a baby sitter.”

Jesus and Walt Disney on Ice
by Mykeala Taylor

   On Jan. 13th, I went to Disney on Ice.  It was so cool! My sister and I love Disney shows and anything Disney!
   So, 1st the zambonie (the machine that cleans the ice rink)shut down in the middle of the ice. Then, Donald Duck started the zambonie up, but it popped a socket and almost ran Goofy over.  Then all of a sudden, the zambonie stopped, made a loud POP, and let out a cloud of smoke. The chipmunks found the magic lamp that had caused the trouble under the zambonie. I know Jesus and Walt Disney helped them

 Who the heck is Patrick and why does HE get a holiday?

Well, I’m glad you asked.  To start, that guy is NOT Patrick. It’s merely some fine gent celebrating St. Patrick’;s Day. Here’s the real deal:
Patrick was the son of very Christian parents but chose instead to not take it very seriously and spent more time hanging out with his friends. One day when he was 16, he was playing around  on the beach and pirates took him captive.  They sold him as a slave to a chieftain named Milchu.  Patrick’s job was to tend Milchu’s sheep. After many years of tending sheep, thinking, and finally hearing God speak to him, Patrick accepted his Christianity and escaped slavery to return back to his parents. I guess he finally got what God was trying to tell him because he trained in the ways of ministry and returned to Ireland to spread the gospel of Jesus to the pagan tribes in their native language which he had learned while he was a slave.
God certainly works in mysterious and amazing ways doesn’t he?

You Got Skills?

Try to find the words listed below.  They all have to do with our buddy Patrick.

Bishop     clover      Dublin     emerald  
 Ireland     Legend       Celtic      Limerick       March    missionary          Patrick      Pirates
shamrock       Shepard       Trinity